The Retreat Porn Game: Your Naughty Escape from Reality

I know it sounds like something out of an early-aughts Gossip Girl episode, but hear me out! This adult indie game is unlike anything else I've ever played before. And trust me, I've done some questionable things in games over the years (looking at you, Animal Crossing). So what is this mysterious game all about? Well, the premise is simple enough: you play as a stressed city dweller who's given the opportunity to escape reality and spend a weekend at a luxurious, secluded retreat. You arrive excitedly, expecting meditation classes, nature walks, maybe even a massage or two. The other guests are equally attractive, equally down for whatever, and they don't hesitate to let you know that whatever it is, they want in too. So begins your steamy adventure through lush forest trails, private hot tubs, and the occasional yurt (trust me, when you play, you won't care how cliché it is). The best part about The Retreat Porn Game? It doesn't force any kind of linear storyline upon you. You can choose to explore every single character's backstory and personality quirks if you so desire, or you could literally just skip everyone else and devote yourself entirely to slutting it up with the wifi-deficient muscle goblin who runs the spa. There are multiple endings based on your choices, each one crazier than the last. Honestly, I've spent hours replaying the same scenario just to see how differently things could turn out depending on whether I complimented someone's tie-dye leggings or not. Of course, being an adult indie game, The Retreat Porn Game doesn't shy away from getting graphic. But hey, that's why we're all here, right? In between all the tantric breathwork and kinky tree climbing, I mean. If you're looking for something completely mindless and NSFW, give this one a try. Just make sure nobody catches you giggling and red-faced while pretending to read an article about sustainable farming practices. I promise, it absolutely wasn't me. Not at all. #DirtyGameSunday #NaughtyNatureLover